It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

My mouth is finally getting back to normal, which means it isn't drying out at every opportunity so I have to stay up all night with a water bottle in my face, dripping it on my tongue. And that isn't an exaggeration, I actually did that. Dry mouth is like...one of the worst things I have ever experienced, physically. It was worse than asthma because it made my tongue all huge and I couldn't talk right and that freaked me out so I had anxiety attacks and couldn't breathe anyway. And my mouth hurt because it dried out if I didn't drink water constantly. And I was always aware of it. It's still the tiniest bit dry, but nothing like it has been, and my tongue feels like it fits in my face now.

YOU ALL NEEDED TO KNOW THESE MINUTE DETAILS ABOUT ANXIETY MEDICATION SIDE EFFECTS. Okay, you probably didn't, but now you do anyway ;) And really, if that is the worst side effect they give me, I can deal. But I am saying that now because it seems to be over! It seems like such a minor thing, but oh dear GOD it was a week and a half of quite an ordeal.

Now there is chicken ceasar salad (oh god, I just ate so much of it which is so good) and Silent Hill, which is so atmospheric and the music is pretty and there are monsters and I have random threads to start in FS and the kitten is sleeping beside me. I feel happy and warm and loved and lucky. And calm. I feel calm.

Thank everything for that.

Now I just have to start eating more again. I still have no appetite, which bothers me. My clothes are all way too big. Like...it is impressive how much weight I lost in two weeks (yes, I am not pleased about this). So tomorrow I am going to eat three meals. I know, right? I CAN DO THIS!

Leah: "I have to think of a medieval Scottish name."
Me: (just pulling out first Scottish name I could think of. "Macbeth!"
Leah: "Yes. I am going to name my female kelpie Macbetha."
Me: "...Macbethany?"

Christ I am so clever it hurts me sometimes.

No, like...really. I laughed so hard at this (I tend to find myself funnier than anyone else does, something that always baffles me because like...I am amazing...) and it hurt my stupid chest.

Sitting in class today was excruciating. And then don't even get me started on how the rest of the day sucked major ass. At least I am home now with my girls, ignoring the rest of the shitty world.

I am having the hardest time speaking tonight. I am stuttering and stumbling over my words all over the place. And while this isn't unusual for me in smaller doses, it won't stop and I feel like I am trying to talk with marbles in my mouth and I can't make myself understood unless I speak in 3-word sentences and I just want to cry. It's really frustrating and it's making me grumpy (though I am managing not to act like a bitch, go me!) and FFFFFFFF whyyyyyy

I talk a lot. I like talking. STOP BETRAYING ME, TONGUE. If it were daytime I would sing a bunch because it's never a problem when I'm singing. but it's late and I can't because I'm a high-pitched, loudymcloud when I sing. So I'll sit here and bitch on LJ and be frustrated and weepy woe woe woe woe is me.

...I hope I don't have a stroke... (I think it's more likely just the messed up sleep that's doing it.)