It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

I have my computer back! It is awesome and really quite big and strange. And I keep forgetting I can sign on to AIM. Oops.

Two volcanoes erupted in two days over here in Middle Earth. Oh, New Zealand. Just calm down a little, will you? There are another two on alert now. This is all up on the North Island and I live in the South Island. But it's still all kinds of fun! No ash has made it very far yet, but they keep warning that this could lead to months of volcanic activity. Poor North Island!

Let's see, what else is happening? On Sunday Laura and I are going to Men in Tutus and I am so excited :D We are going out for Moroccan food first and I am very much looking forward to it. When I told my mother I was going to see Men in Tutus she was like "Is that like that stripper film?" Oh, mother. No no. She is pretty adorable though!

Alison is really quite close to me. That is all. (She is reaching for carrots...)

Tried to play fetch with Echo today but she just stared at me like I was insane and then chased the soda lid I had thrown for her underneath the bookcase. Little scrapper.

Helios got into something ashy because he came inside yesterday with black paws. And he is a delicate-peach-coloured boy with bright white paws. So something was up there! He had a smudge on his nose too. Adorable! His paws are grey now and I think he needs a bath.

As for Ariadne, she curled up on my pillow last night and then inserted her tail into my mouth as I was cooing at her and telling her how adorable she is. Thanks, girl.

In non-cat news, Good Friday dinner was awesome and I made key lime pie. The recipe was super-easy and it turned out really nicely! I might put a little more lime in it next time, but it was delicious! And Alison roasted chickens and we played Drawception and it was pretty brilliant. Hurrah.

Then there was an aftershock, but I'm going to pretend I didn't notice.

I've been posting most things on my Tumblr recently. I have become so disenchanted with LJ. I miss the old days!

Moving on, things have been good lately. Our house is going to be fixed up soon so all the earthquake cracks will be filled in and covered over. We get new wallpaper and paint and the landlords are getting new curtains too. Our living room is going to be sooooo pretty! Of course this does mean moving all of our crap out of half of the house so the builders can do work there but cest la vie. I am so looking forward to things getting fixed up. So. You know. Fingers crossed no more big earthquakes after that because fixing it twice would be a pain in the ass. Yeah, Lara, fixing the wallpaper is the biggest consequence of big earthquakes. *sigh* I think they're fixing the crack in the foundation as well! There is an annoying bump in the kitchen they AREN'T fixing which isn't great. But they seemed to think it was just fine.

Meds are nice. And I am able to get through most days without having to collapse and nap so that is a good sign. I still feel exhausted all the time, but I am sleeping less. So maybe this chronic fatigue is on it's way out.

I think the biggest things I did lately were to go to a Roman repast with the housemates. It was so good and a lot of fun. The next day Alison and I toured Antonio Hall, which is this amazing and run-down house in Christchurch. Part of it was destroyed in the earthquakes but we got to go in to the newer bits which held up fine. Of course they have been destroyed by time and people squatting there, but it was amazing to tour through. I love urban decay. www.antoniohall.org.nz And if you live in Christchurch you can arrange a tour there. It's a special request kind of thing but they will work with you! And I am SO glad I got to do it.

Now it is Good Friday so I should go start making things for our dinner.

My sister and her family are leaving and I'm totally bummed because they're basically my favourite everything.

I thought I would get some things done today after they left because I wouldn't have as many people occupying my time. But I woke up this morning shaky and sick. My hands always shake, but they're doing so visibly. And my kneecaps are shaking. Which is a really weird feeling. I can't tell if it's bloodsugar or extreme tiredness or something else. But basically blah to the extreme.

And I am not pleased to see more more more shaking in Christchurch as well. Dammit.

More huge earthquakes in Christchurch. I'm not there at the moment, and I don't like it though my mother is pleased. My cats and friends and house are okay. I think some things broke in our kitchen but not too much.

So there that is. 5.8, 5.3 and then a 6.0 Hrrgghhh.

Homg. So I went to the second dance performance because Jayann was doing her solo piece, which was gorgeous. All ribbony and painty and deep and beautiful.

The first piece was a ballet, choreographed by the head of the department. It was based on a Japanese folktale and it was set to the Crane Wife songs by the Decemberists, as well as an instrumental piece. And it was absolutely breathtaking. I love ballet so much and it was so well done. Gorgeous.

And now I am soooo tired and there are more earthquakes in the world and ew! The earthquake was apparently three minutes long. Our thirty-second long one felt like an eternity. Shit, I think after a minute you would start to believe it might never stop. Terrifying.

Focus on ballet and sleep, Lara, sheesh.

Slept for like 14 hours and much of that time I was having dreams of panic attacks. They felt so real I have no idea if they were real panic attacks and I just didn't wake up instead weaving them into dreams, or if they were completely dreamed ones. And when I wasn't panicking, I was dreaming about tornadoes and trying to get all my stuff and cats into a tornado shelter randomly filled with children I couldn't control. HMM, WHO IS FEELING A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL LATELY!? Thanks, subconscious, but I am already aware of that. You don't have to send me dream messages to tell me. I always get this way before I fly internationally because there's so much to arrange. HHHRRGGNNNHHH.

Dentist appointment today! Nearly vomited from stress in the waiting room because I hate being judged and I had to write down on the form that I haven't been to a dentist in years. Turned out to be just fine. I said going in that I am a student and can't afford how expensive the dentist is and other than a little Look, the guy was lovely and not-judgey. Though to keep myself calm before I went in, I was quoting Ed Byrne on dentists in my head. "How much of a shit do THEY give about teeth!?" Oh, Ed. I love thee.

Then I walked into town so I could see Cashel Street mall. I was on Cashel Street (though the other end of it) when the Feb quake happened and going back there nearly sent me panicking, but I decided to go anyway. The place was basically levelled in February but they have sent up shops in shipping containers and it was...basically awesome. I have photos which I'll post later. The only thing about it that I didn't like was when I was walking down Colombo Street and I coughed, the city was so empty that my cough echoed and that was just UNCOOL. But Cashel Street totally made up for it. This city...just...<3

Now I am too tired to do anything else I planned today. Stupid fatigue. So I will watch How I Met Your Mother until I have to make dinner and then fall into bed again. But I did dentistry and shopping and I ate Thai food which was all kinds of awesome. So I'm calling today a win, even if there WAS a largeish aftershock when I was on the third floor of a building in the city.

It is almost time, once again, for the girls of the LFoD to gather together and share a night of terrifying movies and lots and lots of sugar. This is how we celebrate Halloween in NZ. Emphasis on WE since most people don't.

So today I pulled myself out of bed (at like 4 PM shhh) and went into Riccarton to fetch supplies. It's also my oldest original character's 23rd birthday today. She was 16 when I made her. I thought the situation called for cheesecake. Bailey's cheesecake. Cause, like...she's Irish. Anyway, then I went and purchased two bags of junk food that is necessary for Halloween.

I decided to catch a different bus home today simply because it got there before the normal Orbiter bus I get. We have a new central bus station and I haven't been in there yet. It's this temporary thing in the middle of town and seeing it made me burst with love for this city. It's trying so hard.

We turned out of the bus station and onto a street. We were tooling along and everyone went silent. I looked around at the gaping, empty spaces where buildings used to be and I had no idea where I was. I didn't recognise the street so I just figured it was one of the side-streets in town. And then I noticed the Dick Smith Ness used to work at and realised I was on Columbo Street. For non-locals, that's one of the main streets through town. And it's just...gone. When I realised where I was, I felt like I might vomit. This is real. It really happened. It's not going away. And it's happening other places and it's so much worse and blahblahblah yuck.

So I had burgers and Simpsons and then I ate cheesecake. Tomorrow there will be tea and then pumpkin soup and horror movies. Clinging to the nice things is better than vomiting in horror because the world seriously, absolutely sucks.

Happy birthday, Deirdre. No character has ever made me laugh and scream and cry and want to strangle and hug a fictional person at the same time as much as you have. Thank you for being part of my brain. You make it just that little bit nicer.

No good for sanity to open one email with a remittance advice for my refund and to see it was only for $577.00 But then I opened the other one and there was the rest of the money. But there was panic there for nigh on a minute. My poor fragile sanity.

I'm feeling very blue today. I even played some Final Fantasy X which I haven't played in about two years. Ah, that ridiculous, stupid game. How I love it.

I need to go to the shops and get cat food and stuffff and I'm like bllaahhhhhh get off your ass, Lara! Christ.

(Do not let me buy DVDs, willpower. Come on. Work for me!)

1. My family is the most awesome thing in the world.

2. Still waiting on my program to confirm my results to the loan people so I can get my second semester loan. If this is refused, this entire year is basically a wash. And it's 7 weeks til the end of term (break weeks not included) So. That sucks. But-

3. My family is still the most awesome thing in the world.

4. I now have all The Kills albums! :D

5. Simon is wonderful for cheering me up.

6. My family is seriously the most awesome thing in the world.