It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

OH and I totally got my loan ;) WHOOOHOOOOO MONEY!

And also quotes!:

Michael: "I'm sad you're leaving. You're the last person I interviewed in the closet!"
Lara: "Oh, Michael, I'm not in the closet."
Michael: "...the Campus Operations closet..."
Lara: "I totally know. I just had to say that!"

Poor Michael. I don't think he knew what to do with me ;) But I laughed!

Working here is awesome...

Yesterday Lisa was talking to one of the theology course coordinators. She is a theology student, so they get along really well and have a good relationship. Apparently he was trying to get her to do something and she was refusing.

Lisa: "No. No, it's a school issue. It's your thing and if you want to do it, I think it should come from the school, I'm not going to do that." *pause* "You know, you're a theologian, I don't think you should be saying 'Jesus Christ' like that, it's not very good..."

And I pissed myself laughing. Also, the Assistant Academic Registrar (Student Systems) was down yesterday and he walked past me. He's in charge of computers and well..systems, among other things.

Leo: "Hi, Lara! How are you?"
Me: "Leeooooooo, my computer isn't WORKINGGGGG!"
Leo: "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
Me: "IT CROWD!" *raises arms in triumph*
Leo: "YEAH! *matches me*
Everyone else: O_O....?

We bonded. BTW? Turning it off and on again? Worked. :|

There's a man at the cafe downstairs who has a rather unique accent. He's incredibly cheerful and always friendly, but most of the time I can't understand him and that makes me really nervous. Social situations, you know... He's from an Eastern European country...you know, previously part of the USSR but not Russia. I do not know which part and if he told me I think I would have a hard time understanding what he meant, which makes me feel bad because he's so lovely!

Anyway, apparently last week Joanne asked for a coke and he asked, in his loud and jolly voice, "DO YOU WANT A BIG COCK OR A SMALL COCK?!" because apparently in his accent Coke=cock. Now I wasn't there last week, and I had never experienced this because I drink Pepsi.

Until today.

Me: "I'd like a Pepsi Max, please."

He wandered away to search the fridge and he came back. "No Pepsi. 'sall gone! You want a cock!? 'snice cock! You know you want a cock!"

Me: ".... nothanks"

Turns out there was Pepsi Max anyway, he was just looking in the wrong fridge. Still, the entire cafe heard this and died laughing. Me? I just died.

EDIT: And a student just sent in an email that said

"Dear Lisa,

sorry for my stupid."

AWESOME.

I organised a sweep at work for the Melbourne Cup (early because a lot of people are taking Monday off) and we were drawing horse names today. Cassie pulled a name out of the Mickey Mouse hat and she laughed and yelled "HAH! Think Monkey!"

I sighed and said, "honey, that says 'Think Money'."

Her reply, a rather crestfallen: "...Oh. That's not as funny." Which is true! Still, I was very amused. And then I walked across the busy city street to the campus to let the student centre peeps draw names. Carrying the Mickey Mouse hat. I got SO many strange looks and I just waved :D

Oh, and today our house WASN'T attacked by a wayward swarm of crazy flying ant-things!

Some days are just made of awesome.

Me: "Haha! I love that my Asthma Foundation trainer's name was Rimmer. Rimmer, like Red Dwarf!" *knocks fork over and utters 'cocksucker' under breath*
Lauren: "What was his surname?"
Me: "Rimmer was his cocksucker."
Lauren: "..."
Me: "..."

And now I can't breathe from laugh and my eyes are streaming.

OH YES! I forgot a conversation from one of the ladies I work with which occurred during a lull at the registration desk. Jay from Graduations nearly died when we heard.

Her: OH! Hey! What does DNA stand for?!
Me: Deoxyribonucleic acid.
Her: *blink blink* Uhm... It's a joke! It's National Dyslexic Association. You're supposed to say you don't know!
Me: Oh! I didn't know it was a joke!!
Her: That's the first time anyone has actually answered me!! I can't believe you knew that!
Me: *shrugs*

Ah, science. You are a wonderful thing. You make me miss the entire point of conversations sometimes. Thanks.

I love my job!!

*Walks into Michael the boss' office with an actual query*
Michael: *looks up excitedly* GUESS WHAT?!
Lara: Oh god, what?!
Michael: I'm going to Disneyworld!!
Lara: ...Oh? That's...good?
Michael: YEAH! It's my favourite! I've been four times! Once I went with my mate...but he got motion sick. It probably wasn't the best idea, huh?
Lara: No, probably not.
Michael: Sorry, I'm in a weird mood, I had too much Coke.
Lara: *Bursts into unrelenting laughter that has me sprawled on his desk gasping for breath* *squeaks* You're a Cokehead! *continues laughter*
Michael: ....O_O

He thought he broke me! :D

Also? Best quote ever? Michael: *Walks into the room at 9 am and announces* "There was a stripper at my house this weekend and now I can't get the coconut oil smell out." *shuffles into office, dejectedly*

And it's funnier without the context so you get NONE! Bwahhaha!

Thank you Stacy for getting me a journal!!! *huggles* I mostly just wanted a place to write down my annoyances or gripings. SO if what I write scares you a little...don't be afraid ;) Mostly what I have to write about now is working as a waitress. Dammit lol. Dinner shifts are fine, it's graveyard shifts that are the problem! Stupid drunk people. Last night we only had 2 cooks on because one of the cooks got recalled by the Marines and he told the scheduler that he'd be leaving but they didn't schedule anyone else! So our orders were taking like 45 minutes to come up and all the customers were getting pissed off, but there's nothign anyone could do about it. I believe Chris called them "Fucking Meatpuppets" which amused me enough I guess. Kept me from strangling someone :) Ya know what is NOT a funny joke to ask a waitress? The joke that goes, "What's the soup de Jour? The soup of the day!? That sounds good I'll have that." Yes...You are not the only one who saw that movie. You are not the only one who thinks they are clever enough to quote it. I get it at least 2 times a night, maybe more. Nowadays I just smile and walk away. And hey...when you're at a restaurant and you can tell they're busy and your food is taking a little bit long. Don't blame the waitress!! It hardly her fault! She can't control how long the food is taking. Neither can the cooks actually because if you want your food un-raw, you'll just have to shut up and wait! Unless of course you don't MIND your food not being cooked. Because I don't think I'd mind a few people getting sick and never coming back. I wouldn't do it on purpose of course, but if you're going to complain about your food taking so long, DON'T ORDER SO DAMN MUCH OF IT!!!!!! OOoh that felt good :) Enough of my waitress rant for today :)
~Lara~